The Inclusive Nature of Respect
Teacher: Scott Walter, Sensei
This article is in response to comments occurring during a web-based discussion. One of the topics being examined during the discussion was extremism, both how it can be observed in events and attitudes taking place around the world, and how we can find personal versions of extremism within ourselves. Both of these forms can also be seen all the way back to the Old Testament events of Cain and Abel. At the core of extremism as well as at the core of Cain and Abel’s conflict is found a common point of breakdown.
“And in the process of time it came to pass, that Cain brought of the fruit of the ground an offering unto the LORD. And Abel, he also brought of the firstlings of his flock and of the fat thereof. And the LORD had respect unto Abel and to his offering: But unto Cain and to his offering he had not respect.”
The Inclusive Nature of Respect
In my experience, the only way to continuously grow our inner values is to see the inner values growing and expressing in the lives of ourselves and of others. When looking at the extremist in anything, you can position yourself where you feel the extremist is not able to see anything inwardly. You can become an extremist when you feel no one can see inwardly except you.
I find it is easier to consider that everyone can see more inwardly and that they focus attention and value certain positions over others because they feel just as sure as you do that they are seeing quite inwardly. So, what is inward? I define inward as a more inclusive and more eternal value that has ever more positive values in its reasoning. This means that if we are to truly be going more inward, our definition of more positive has to be including others in their more inward values.
When we impose our inner sense on others by canceling their inner sense, we have limited the inclusiveness of the moment. Now, in practice, this can be hard to actualize, because people are often so outwardly focused when they speak about inward values and concerns. How are we being in those moments? This is a question that we need to ask and re-ask.
Compassion should allow for each person…each position…to have the opportunity to face what truly is the more inward reasoning. It allows the space to turn and to be truer to the real heart of the matter. Usually we are so busy with our outward facings that we think talking about inward reasons is the same as living them in the moment. To truly live them in the moment is to be authentically sharing from the heart. How many people actually have the courage to do that on hard subjects? Compassion gives room for this difficulty.
Another point to consider is how we treat someone truly sharing from the more inclusive, positive value. Our habits as people is to step on true sincerity because ours has been stepped on over time and because to acknowledge it means we have to meet the positive in the moment with some of our own. This is very risky as we feel vulnerable — and we are vulnerable to each other in those moments. Compassion also considers the reality of this difficulty.
Do you really think others do not have meaningful inward values? As the “plant” example is to each type of flower, the inward values of everyone are generated from the same reason. Where are we in that reason? What reasons do we dwell on? If we are so caring of others, do we even take the time to care for the inward values others are reasoning for? Seriously…is your ear trained to hear the inward positives the other person is trying to express? Are you truly working to find a better way to say and live what you most inwardly value in life?
Now, I would like to comment again on the Cain/Abel conflict. I do not believe there was something terribly more inherent in Cain than in Abel. The message is clear: God did not see the Respect in Cain’s offering and Cain did not Respect Abel's more inward offering. It’s really simple. This is a clear lesson in how we fall into matters that weigh heavily on us, but that lead to us wanting to hurt someone.
Hurting someone inadvertently is still painful, but it is not deliberate. Abel, through his offering, hurt Cain’s feelings. But this was not deliberate. It certainly hurt Cain’s feelings and Cain found reason to blame Abel. And Abel was to blame in Cain’s view. Let’s really look at their jobs since their offerings were based on them.
Able tended the flocks and Cain worked the fields. Cain could reasonably argue that his work was closer to God and Nature because even the animals depended on vegetation to survive; his was the more direct connection to source. We can create a definition in favor of Abel too. After all, Abel by nature is more Able.
But it was Respect that created their difference in offering value to the LORD — respect, and a lack of respect, in understanding the inward reason of what happened. When we try to judge the moments and trials in our lives simply by measuring the matter, we miss the more inward reasons and understandings. This misunderstanding causes anger, hate and envy. People get caught up in these horrifying emotions because they do NOT understand and Respect the inward reasons that are contributing to the moment.
The LORD represents the most inward, inclusive position, so when we respect the LORD, we respect that there are more inward reasons, or more inward values, working in the moment than the ones we are so sure of. We cannot know these unless we practice giving what brings them into our knowing. The LORD is trying to teach this to Cain and Abel. The LORD is favoring Abel's Respect.
Why not choose to see this? This IS the reason we are on this site to practice. This is why Respect is one of the four fundamental principles in our Art of Giving series. Here is the very proof of the Art of Giving. Here is the very proof of what the LORD based his preference on. Here is the very proof of what generated the first murder in this human model. Here is the next example in the continued fall of mankind.
Why steer clear of this Truth? We have some very good ideas going here through the people currently posting. Why not include Respect and the principles of giving directly? Why divert the reasoning away from the principles? Why not respect that the extreme Muslim has an inner reason that is difficult to express. Why not see that Cain chose to turn outward rather than to respect the more inward offering?
The reason is simple, the matter is complex. Where are you on the true line of reason? What is truly someone’s inward reason? What is the reason for that? What point in reasoning do you make your life offerings to?
Do you offer yourself and your reasons to understand? To punish? To listen? To ignore? To embrace? To withhold?
Was Cain only driven by his outward value when he slew Abel? Consider he was driven by his INWARD value and his desire to be ONE. He reduced two to one, but not by the standard of the more inward definition. It was an outward expression of an inward sense. Cain’s Oneness was to eliminate all competition. He was choosing to live on the NEGATIVE reasons. Abel's Oneness was to give with a deeper respect for what the more inward, more POSITIVE reasons are. It was not because they were born that way. It’s because they were choosing that way. Now, I will agree that if we choose certain ways over life times, we will be born in that way of choosing…but it is still a choice.
So here are these two brothers. (You can also think of the two brothers as being the Palestinians and Israelis, the innocents and terrorists, the victim and the perpetrator, the speaker and the listener and any other model.) Now, let’s introduce a problem. Let’s suppose one person understands the problem better than the other. The understanding is being given to one over the other, or is more present in one than the other. Why? Because one has a better understanding of the problem in the moment. Well, if one has a better understanding and the principles of giving are being practiced, the understanding will expand to more understanding and if the people involved are respectful to value the more inward positives when they are being offered by either, the understanding will grow to include them both in positive ways. But if even one of them refuses to respect the more positive values being offered, the understanding will begin to produce matter that separates.
So, what was lacking in Cain’s offering? RESPECT, appreciation, gratitude and the more inward value that can only come into better focus when we are willing to respect its presence! He was counting and measuring matter as more important than the inner values and reasons…including his own.
When this respect is lacking, there is insufficient turning to the more inward value and reason. Why? Because in those positions we tend to respect the outward matters more. It requires a more valuable respect to go more truly inward with someone’s reasoning and with our own.
Are we able to appreciate this? Can we show gratitude right now for this? Can we point to the more inward value? Can we show an ever increasing respect for this type of offering? We should be doing this as our offering to the LORD and to our lives and the people in them. It’s hard to do, but we should be doing it.
God blessed Abel because he showed more respect to the inward in his LIFE offerings; in the efforts of his living and working and sharing. Cain could have done the same, but he became intensely jealous and spiteful because Abel, with all the same hardships and life issues, found a way to respect the inner more. Cain was practicing too and chose to make an offering lacking the truer, more inward respect. He thought he could just go more for the outward values and that the inward would work itself out. Well it did! The value went outward and he became angry with envy and hate. He wanted the outward to take the place of the inward. The LORD said, “I prefer the more inward, positive.” The LORD has to prefer it, because that is the position defining the LORD.
These were both sons of Adam and Eve. Giving more inwardly infuriated Cain and inspired Abel. Cain wanted stuff to matter more. Abel wanted more inward relationship. Abel demonstrated a Respect for this in his offering. This was Appreciated by the LORD and he showed his Gratitude by Giving Abel a more Valuable Blessing. See the principles? The only thing that became a problem was when Cain refused to Respect this.
Look at this! This is the lesson on extremism and the intense frustrations that come to everyone involved. This poor fellow Cain could not begin to reconcile his inward feelings. He certainly had inner feelings driving him, but his expression of them was outward and directed at matter because he was not Able to respect the more inward truth in the moment. But he wanted the oneness just as we all do in our many ways. One form of oneness leads to inclusive understanding and love. The other leads to exclusive understanding and love. Both have an inner and outer. One loves the inner more and one loves the outer more.
Consider the principles of our study and everything will open up more.
Everyone is producing value here and the course of our discussions is clearly moving more inwardly. How is that happening? Abel was NOT favored because of the matter/content of his offering. It was due to the differences in how these two brothers were offering Respect for the more inward values of the LORD.
Is it so hard to imagine or even to know what the more inward values of the Muslim extremist are? Can we not respect those? Can we not see how painfully difficult it is for those extremists to find inclusive examples for sharing their inward sense? Look at them…they are choosing to die and kill to express the values of their lives. Are there better ways to demonstrate those values? Only if we know how to truly express them better. This requires respect and the Art of Giving.
One more consideration please: picture Cain and picture the terrorist. Both are looking outward to some extent while being driven inwardly to some extent. As they look out to matter and see people living with no apparent regard for their strife and injustice, they choose to reduce the number of people not “getting their values and reasoning.” They, in their way, are trying to reduce the matter that stands between them and the LORD. They just keep cutting people from their lives until they are the only ones left. Maybe then the LORD will accept the offering.
In Cain’s eyes, Abel stood between himself and the LORD. In the LORD’s eyes it was Respect. Because Cain lacks this respect, he sees Abel as the problem. Now, how do you suppose Cain, or the terrorist, will ever get a sense of this Respect unless someone gives it to them as an offering? So what does Cain do? What do terrorists do? They demand Respect? Am I my brother’s keeper they ask? Why do they ask this? Because they lack a true Respect of the reasons for being and they desperately need someone to give them what they lack.
Compassion gives the space for this offering to be made and realized. Compassion Respects this need in ourselves and in others and Appreciates ways of giving it. Compassion shows Gratitude for the more inward, positive values showing through the matter and places a higher value on that more inward form of Giving. Then, compassion Respects this way of giving and begins to Appreciate it more, finding more positive, inward values to show Gratitude for. As I cited in the earlier posts, with practice, it becomes more graceful and that sense of grace opens the pathway for a more inward Respect to be realized by the Cains in ourselves and in our worlds.
Compassion gives the space for our practice in the giving of our lives. Grace has a relationship to compassion as a way of being in that space that is based on the way we give our lives’ reason.
Scott Walter, Sensei
23 October 2009
The Inclusive Nature of Respect
© 2009 by Great River Institute
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